It’s too bad this one wasn’t better. It could have been a lot of fun. Insttead, it’s releegated to cult status and is a delightful, but flawed romp. Arnold Schwarzenegger is obviously playing Conan, but they can’t call him Conan in this sword and sorcery adventure that introduced the world to Brigitte Nielsen, the towering, statuesque beauty.

In a too-short film that parallels the first Conan film, Red Sonja finds herself on a path of vengeance against the evil Queen Gerden (Arnold’s Conan co-star Sandahl Bergman), for the murder of her parents.

Gerden has just claimed a powerful magical item which can be used to create and destroy. One of its protectors was Sonja’s sister, and the other was Kalidor (Arnold). The pair unite to stop Gerden, and of course, there is some romance along the way.

There are some fantastic matte paintings, set designs and costumes along the way.

Brigitte looks stunning, though she’s not the best actor. Course, once the studio had Arnold signed, how do you not change the script to almost make it an Arnold movie, and a bit of an unofficial sequel to the Conan series?

Unfortunately, that almost makes Sonja the second fiddle in her own movie.

Nielsen looks great handling a sword, and throws herself into the role as well as she could, but the entire film is a little too light. The story also throws in some unnecessary comedy with the characters of Prince Tarn (Ernie Reyes Jr., who gets to show off some of his martial arts skills) and his servant, Falkon (Paul L. Smith).

The film also suffers from a score that doesn’t serve as well as it should. And that’s unfortunate because it’s Ennio Morricone, the famed composer. It’s not as heavy and powerful as it should feel, and the themes and motifs used during some of the sequences make the film seem light and fluffy, instead of an all-out adventure.

Pat Roach and Ronald Lacey, who both appeared in Raiders of the Lost Ark make appearances here.

This could have been something, a kick-ass heroine, swords, sorcery, monsters. A stronger, more balanced script could have made this the first in a franchise. We’d seen that the lead doesn’t have to be a great actor, look at the original Conan, but if you fill the film with solid work in front of and behind the camera, it can elevate into something.

This one missed a number of opportunities. They should have gone with a hard R like the original Conan, and made this an event.

I still enjoy it. I think it’s goofy and enjoyable, but it’s too flawed to be exceptional. I also think its a better film than the more recent attempt to adapt the IP.

It’d be cool if they could get this one right. This and a new Conan, they could do a Hyborean-verse series of films, and we could return to the time of high adventure.