Vampires? I’m sorry Vampires? Come on, man. I’ll let you have your meteor freaks and your metahumans, and yes I know vampires exist in the DC Universe, but this just feels a little silly. And then you make them the sorority that Lana (Kristin Kreuk) is thinking about pledging. Oh boy.

Thirst first aired on 27 October, 2005 and was written by Steven S. DeKnight.

Chloe (Allison Mack) is meeting with the editor of the Daily Planet, Pauline Kahn (Carrie Fisher!!) and hoping to get her shot (again). But it doesn’t go as well as she hoped… or will it? Pauline tells her to come to her with a story.

The episode lets Chloe do some voice-over work, as she digs into her story… which, surprise, is the sorority and the body count around it.

And what’s going on with Dr. Milton Fine (James Marsters)? Lex (Michael Rosenbaum) threatens to fire him if he continues his investigation into LuthorCorp. We do realize that Fine is more than he seems as he returns to the ship in LuthorCorp labs, and pulls a T-1000 on the Luthor employee following him.

Obviously, there’s a bit of a shot at Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I mean they had Marsters there, so it’s a little meta, but that doesn’t save it) here, but it seems like an odd way for the series to go, even if it’s just a one-off episode. It’s a pretty horrible episode. And while timed to air as a Halloween episode, the a-story just doesn’t hold up.

Oh, and there’s also a George Lucas reference with a mention of 1-1-3-8. In this case, it’s a project overseen by Luthorcorp, and in this case the vampirism is something that was created by the meteor rocks.

The b-stories move a little bit of the season narrative along, and Clark (Tom Welling) isn’t given much to do throughout. Maybe we can forget it happened and move on. The creators wanted to, after they apologized for it.

Ugh.

Exposed was written by Kelly Souders and Brian Petersen. It first aired on 3 November, 2005.

Chloe is working in the basement of the Daily Planet. And those Duke boys are back together!

Tom Wopat guest stars in this episode, reuniting with his Duke cousin, John Schneider. Wopat stars as Senator Jack Jennings. He’s been framed for the murder of an exotic dancer who reached out to Chloe at the Planet in an effort to share her story before she ended up dead.

There’s a familiar-looking car, welded doors, and some dialogue that is a little meta.

Jack may have been framed by his competition in the run for the Senate… Luthor. But Lex helps Clark out in his investigation. And the truth will out in the end, thanks to some help from Clark and Lois.

And what of Jack and Johnathan? Is the friendship over? Jack may not have murdered the dancer, but he’s made some questionable decisions and poor life choices. Will Jack drop out? Is there someone he thinks should run, someone on the Kent farm?

Everyone in the series seems to be involved in figuring out what to do to help save the day. Lois (Erica Durance) even goes undercover as an exotic dancer to help dig up the threat (no complaints, but it seems a little exploitative). And, of course, Lois is on stage doing her thing, while Clark is in the club conducting his own investigation.

Poor Lois/Erica Durance, but all of this is better than the last episode.