Muck (2015) – Steve Wolsh


After I am ZoZo, this horror feature, also releasing from Anchor Bay today, was much more enjoyable, looked so much more professional, and to sound completely like a guy, did not skimp on the cleavage.

Muck is a welcome throwback. Using 21st century pacing, and filming techniques, Muck is very much an 80s horror film, which in this case means lots of blood, and lots of breasts. It embraces its traditions, and expects its viewers to do the same.

Filled with a cast of good-looking twenty somethings, including Lauren Francesca (who spends the entire film in rubber boots, a bra and panties), Jaclyn Swedberg (Playboy’s Playmate of the Year, 2012), Stephanie Danielson, Lachlan Buchanan, Bryce Draper, and Laura Jacobs.

Put them up against a swarm of pale skinned, tattoo and scarred led by horror icon Kane Hodder, and you have the potential for a fun, blood-drenched horror flick. And as long as you go in expecting an 80s film that looks like it was made today, then chances are, you’ll enjoy yourself.

When the blood starts spilling, there is nothing but practical effects at play, and some nice sequences, and decidedly painful demises.

Our heroes spill out of a swamp, beaten, scarred, bloodied and with little apparel, they’ve already had an adventure we haven’t been privy to. They stumble to a deserted home, in the hopes of finding refuge. But things aren’t going to get any better for them any time soon.


Mia (Francesca), Noah (Draper), Kylie (Danielson), Desiree (Jacobs) and others settle in, trying to recover, and figure out what is going on in the strange little town of West Craven (the t is silent). The dialogue comes quick, is filled with a lot of fun, and is decidedly very self-referential.

As they start to relax and tend their wounds, including getting in a shower, Noah elects to go for help on his own, which sets up a nice misadventure and introduces us to Troit (Buchanan), Terra (Swedberg) and Chandi (Puja Mohindra), who think they’re just driving out to pick up Noah and his friends.

Cutting back and forth, those poor kids in West Craven start meeting their maker one by one, in decidedly brutal ways at the hands of Hodder and his creepers.

As breasts are exposed, the body count climbs, and the survivors are whittled down until those who have made it this far are forced back into the swamps, and apparently there is something even more terrifying in there…

I ended up having a really good time with this one. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, and doesn’t skimp or blood or breasts, and pays wonderful homage to the horror films of the 80s. It will be interesting to hear if there is a sequel in the works, as I love the way the first one ends, and I’d love to know what happens next.

Muck is available today from Anchor Bay.




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