Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon (2011) – Michael Bay

It apparently just doesn’t stop, and Michael Bay never seems to learn. My time with the Transformers continues as I dive into the third film in the series as I explore the Sci-Fi Chronicles.

This time around the Decepticons led by Megatron (Hugo Weaving) and the Autobots led by Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) are involved in a new angle in their ongoing struggle. We learn that one of the original reasons man went to the moon was because of a Transformers incursion there, and that there may be a new weapon, and secrets that can be used in the robotic civil war that is taking place on Earth.

Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) just can’t seem to catch a break, and neither can the audience as we get dragged on another ridiculous adventure.

Yes, the pathetic juvenile sense of humour is still here, which, sadly, makes it impossible to take the rest of the story even remotely seriously. Or as seriously as robots who can transform into cars and are fighting other robots can be.

Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro are all back as well as Kevin Dunn and Julie White who have been saddled with the questionable honour of playing Sam’s parents for the past few films.

All I can imagine these actors thinking is, “It’s a paycheck.” The same thought probably crossed the minds of John Malkovich, Frances McDormand, Alan Tudyk, Buzz Aldrin, Patrick Dempsey and Leonard Nimoy when someone sent them the script.

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Meagan Fox is gone replaced by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as Carly, and she is given about the same amount of things to do as Fox was.

Again, the plot is moronic, the film swings from computer-generated robot on robot action sequences to poorly written comedic scenes that are increasingly jarring.

As each film progresses, the series becomes more and more inept. There is no heart to any of the stories, and there is no human drama, it wants to be a big popcorn tentpole series, but they just come off as increasingly annoying.

I don’t understand how people keep lining up for these.

Once again the human body count is incredibly high, but it’s there only for entertainment value, and we see in a couple of sequences that even the Autobots are brutal in their treatment of their enemy.

I don’t know. So far I haven’t found much to redeem these films. Happily I only have one more to get through, and then maybe I can forget about these horrible movies once and for all.

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