Enter the Ninja is dangerously bad. Coming on the tail of Chuck Norris’ The Octagon, the two films helped usher the ninja fad into the 80s. Featuring a story dreamed up by stuntman Mike Stone, who was initially cast as the main character until his acting chops didn’t make the cut – and that’s saying something considering how bad everyone is in the film, Enter the Ninja is a haphazard assembly of cliches and fight sequences that were definitely under-financed.

Franco Nero is Cole, but because Nero couldn’t pull off a believable American accent, he had to be dubbed. He’s just been certified a master of ninjutsu and he’s off to visit an old war buddy in the Philippines.

Frank (Alex Courtney) and his wife, Mary Ann (Susan George) have eked out a living for themselves in the country, hiring labourers to help them work the land, but Venarius (Christopher George) wants the land – there’s oil in them thar hills.

And since Frank doesn’t want to sell, Venarius sends wave after wave of his thugs, including The Hook (Zachi Noy) to make his point for him, and beat the pair into submission. But they didn’t count on Cole.

There’s also this weird romantic subplot between Cole and Mary Ann, because she wants a child, and Frank isn’t capable of taking care of business lately, which he openly admits to Cole.

It’s just odd and weird, with horrible acting, and poorly shot action sequences. Stone stands in for Nero during the action beats, Nero stepping in just for the closeups and the occasional kick and punch. It’s not as tightly crafted as it could be.

The opening sequence had some fun potential and set things up nicely, it also sets up where to put your expectations. Despite the damned cool-looking poster, this one is not even b-movie material. It’s just horrible all around.

The opening sequence also sets up tension between Cole and one of his fellow students (Sho Kosugi), one that you know will pay off by the movie’s end when they square off against one another.

Menahem Golan made a lot of movies, and while some of them are interesting and passably entertaining, it would be hard-pressed to call any of them good. But you can’t deny that the man loved movies, and wanted to tell stories, no matter how ill-conceived they were, or poorly plotted.

And the less said about the film’s score, which sounds like it was lifted from a 70s blue movie, the better.

And yet, despite the drubbing it got by critics and reviewers, the film did well enough for the production company to save it. It also inspired a series of ninja films, including the American Ninja franchise. But wow, this was just terrible, but could you have imagined if this was done right? With a smart story, budget and stunts?

80s audiences weren’t as sophisticated as we’ve become, and in this case, it really shows.

Ugh.